Baby, Come Home
by Bloo187
Summary: This is a one-shot of what i think might happen if Piper were to go back to Alex after she had left her in Paris.


"Disclaimer: I own nothing. All credits to Jenji Kohan/Piper Kerman. All rights belong to Netflix and orange is the new black.

* * *

"It's June but feels like September. It's cold for it being summer but there seems to be a constant chill in the air that's been present since I stepped off that plane three weeks ago. That's how long it's been since I left Alex and I haven't been able to sleep. I get at most three hours of sleep at night if I'm lucky. Most of the time I just lay there starring up at the ceiling watching it as if it were a movie screen replaying every hour that I was with her. At some point I realize I'm crying reaching up trying to grab hold of the last bit of her I have left refusing to let this fire completely extinguish. Trying to pray to a God that I don't believe in that she believes that I still love her after the way I left. How could I? I couldn't even bring myself to be there for her as a friend. The only way I can stomach the guilt from swallowing me whole is believing that I wasn't considered a friend to her in the end. It doesn't help much knowing she loved me more than anything other than Diane.  
"At the thought of Diane I start crying again. She had been my rock when we were abroad. When Alex would leave me in the apartment for hours on end I would spend my time talking to Diane. I would always make sure to send her post cards. Oh god, I can't believe I left Alex like that.  
A couple hours later, I can see light shinning through the window. I still can't sleep so I get up and put on my running shoes and head out. As soon as I hit the sidewalk I'm sprinting. Twisting and turning through the city trying to run away from my mistakes and awful decisions I end up running for an hour before I get back to my steps. Even something as mundane as my door reminds me of her. She's etched into my memory. She's everywhere.

_Alex and I had just started dating, talking on the phone and texting throughout the day for a month or so. One day she disappeared. She didn't call, didn't text, didn't show up at my place like she did sometimes. I assumed she had gotten bored of me until one day out of the blue she appeared on my door step./p_  
_"I heard knocking on my door and assumed it to be Polly but hadn't been to sure due to the fact that it was midnight and polly had been staying with Pete, so I assumed they got into an argument. So I walk to the door and open it only to be surprised. It was Alex._  
_"Alex."_  
_"Hey kid" she was leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed and a looked a bit unsure about what was going to happen._  
_"I was shocked and ecstatic that the woman who has been plaguing my mind for the past two months was standing before me, but as quickly as the happiness came, it faded turning into a rush of anger._  
_"'Hey kid'? That's all you have to say? You haven't spoken to me in two months and you think you can just show up at my door and expect me to be okay with it? If you think I'm that type of girl, you're mistaken. You can't just up and leave whenever you want!" As I'm ranting about not being 'that kind of girl' shes silently chuckling at my small outburst. As I stop ranting, she smiles and I lost. She was beautiful the way her eyes looked like emeralds and her skin looked like it was glowing a subtle gold in the phosphorescent yellow of the porch light. She was wearing her leather jacket and Doc Martins carrying a duffel bag. She looked exhausted. She must have just gotten off the plane. Regardless of all this I'm still furious and as I'm about to shut the door, she stops it and puts her foot in the doorway._  
_"Hey, I'm sorry" looking truly sorry about the lack of contact. "I had to leave to handle a couple of things, Job stuff. I didn't have any cell service out there and to be honest it was a mess. I would have called if I had gotten a chance."_  
_I was a little hesitant to let her in but then she reached up and cupped my face and smiled that devilish smile and I caved._  
_"come in, you look like you haven't slept in weeks." We walk in and she looks around the living room as if she hasn't been here in years. Reveling in the familiarity of the space she's now in and I sit at the stool by my counter._  
_"I haven't." She laughs. " I caught the first red eye out and as soon as I landed I caught a cab here. I couldn't sleep on the plane."_  
_"She drops her duffel bag and sits on the couch. I follow and lean on the back of it facing the same window she is. Wanting desperately to just run my hands through her dark hair. To touch her wanting to prove she is here and sitting in my living room. She throws her head back to look at me and grabs my hand and pulls me around the couch to sit on her lap. I straddle her and put my arms around my neck. She rests her hands on my sides and just looks up at me smiling._  
_"Fuck, I missed you."_  
_" I missed you too."_  
_"Did you? I couldn't tell." She says sarcastically earning a swat at her arm and my trying to pry myself from her arms._  
_"Let me go!"_  
_"Letting out a real laugh, finding it funny that I'm struggling. "Stop, come here." She grabs me and pulls me closer and kisses me. The first kiss was soft and gentle showing she missed me. We pull away and look at each other._  
_"I really did miss you, you know."_  
_"I know"  
__"The night followed with her carrying me to my bedroom and us tangled up in my sheets until the sun came up._

Once I get past the door frame, I go and sit in the exact spot we sat that night. Hoping I can find some heat radiating from it but I just get a chill, and I can feel the fire dimming. Silently hating Polly for not getting rid of it. For not changing anything. The house is quiet. The city outside is still asleep, and the ringing becomes violent. Just when I think I have no more tears left, they start pouring out. Pulling my knees up to my chest trying to keep my heart from falling out of my chest. I fall over curled up on the couch. I left a part of me in Paris. A part that I know I'll never get back. I fall asleep.  
"I wake up a couple hours later, and my first thought it to look for Alex. Three weeks and I still wake up and expect Alex to walk out of the bedroom or be in the kitchen. I get up and walk around the house and look at it the same way Alex did that night but instead of reveling, growing a distaste for it. No where is home without her. She was my home, is my home. In that moment something had snapped. It was like someone had just broken a glow stick in my chest. It felt like sharp snap and then bright illumination. Something had lit the way. She did. I love her. I love Alex Vause. I collapse in the middle of my floor thinking "oh no, what have I done?" I gave up the only person who understood me. Who loves me as I am. I know she's staying in Jersey, she's at her moms place. I need to get her. I need to show her I still love her.  
"Its dark out and raining but I don't care. I need to get there. I put on jeans, changed my shirt, and a small zip up and ran out to my car. I remember this drive. Alex and I would do it every time we came home. I loved it. When we drove it during the day it was a beautiful drive. We drove through the forest part of the way but my favorite was always the bridge. For some reason Alex and I always would hold hands as soon as we entered if we weren't already. I would hold my breath every time wishing that it wouldn't ever end.

"This drive is different. This drive is full of uncertainty and a false sense of hope and that false hope is creeping up on me. I'm trying to figure out if this is what I want. If this is who I want to be with. I start asking myself question. Do I love her? Did I even know? Or do I just never want to be alone? I dwell on these questions, it's not the first time I've questioned myself. I asked myself these questions months ago when I had been sitting in a hotel room, in a country where I knew nobody, and had felt the most alone I had ever been. They always led back to the same thing. I do love her. She is love and I just tossed her aside like a lighter out of fuel.

"Fourty-five minutes later, I pull up outside of Diane's. Alex is standing outside in the rain wearing a black coat. Diane's coat. We had gotten that for her a couple months ago from a little boutique in Paris. I picked it out.  
Alex hasn't realized I'm here let alone a car has parked in front her home. Shes just starring up at the sky lost in her thoughts attempting to let the rain wash off all the hurt she's been dealt. I get out of the car, she hears the car door slam and sees me standing at the end of the walk way. She stands there starring at me blankly. She stops and looks back up at the falling rain.

"Do you remember when we would split a drink?" She lets out a feeble chuckle as she reminisces. "It never mattered what it was, our hands were just so close we wouldn't bother. We would just glance at each other and smile. Too bad that sweetness doesn't last." She looks back to me. I'm standing there holding myself, terrified of this Alex. She's broken and I don't know what to do. We're both standing in the rain. I'm in my little sweater, the rain is falling down on me weighing in on the gravity of the situation. The rain is keeping me here and grounded while its letting Alex drift far away from me. With us, when it rains, it pours. There is no in between.

"Alex."  
"I don't know what you want from me."  
"I want you, Alex. You are home. I'm not alright. I haven't been since I walked out that door." I say almost pleading with her. "I love you, Alex."  
"That's when I notice she's crying. Her tears blending in with the rain and that's when it clicks. She always hated crying, always hated being seen crying. That's why she's standing out in the rain. The rain allows the tears to be hidden from herself.  
"Oh Alex."  
"I take a step closer to her. She doesn't move. I take another./p  
"Al," I keep walking towards her. "I'm so sorry."/p  
"How could you?"/p  
"I'm sorry." I'm now face to face with her and her eyes are red. She's been crying all day. "I thought I could do it. I thought I could live without you."/p  
"I put my hands on her cheeks. Her face is freezing but still warm where the steady streams of tears have been flowing./p  
"Yeah, well I thought I could too but all I've been wanting to do is sit around and stare at my shoes. Just kind of let the sadness fill me up like a balloon and you know what, I'd do it all again. Us? I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Piper, I think you're my best friend. I'm all yours."/p  
"Al, I…."  
"Baby, come home."  
"And all I remember from that night is Alex saying "Baby, come home."

* * *

I heard the new Fall Out Boy song, Jet Pack Blues and all I could picture was Alex and Piper. I apologize for any errors. This story was typed up on an iPad and it's a little hard to keep track of all my mistakes. Also this is my first time ever writing something like this, so any criticism would be great.


End file.
